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So You Think You Can Dance results show! (June 21, 2007)

Two down, seventeen to go. It’s time for the So You Think You Can Dance results show! Cat welcomes us to the show, looking ever-so-lovely in a yellow floaty dress. I’m no longer surprised to see her looking cute. This appears to be a permanent change for the better, and I applaud the wardrobe stylists who quit smoking crack and started doing their jobs right. Ridiculous costumes are for the contestants, people, not the host.

This week’s group dance is to another Wade Robson song. I wonder if he just paid a DJ to come up with some fresh beats, mumbled a few words into a mic, and called it a day. I wonder if his whole “recording career” is an attempt to show up his former pal Justin Timberlake, or if it’s an apology to the world for setting in motion a chain of events that would eventually ruin Britney Spears. Or perhaps he’s legitimately multi-talented, and I’m just a bitch.

The ladies are decked out in black unitards, tutus, and hi-tops, and attempt to illustrate how robots dance the ballet. Breakdancing comes next, then some of the guys do that thing where you put the hem of your t-shirt through the neck and pull it down so that your t-shirt becomes super slutty. Then Sabra pretends to blow a mighty wind at the group, who wiggle accordingly. Ugh, this dance sucks. I don’t think I’ve ever been so underwhelmed by an opening number. And it was choreographed by Shane Sparks?? I’m so confused.

Enough of this, it’s time to send some kids home. First to get the news: Lauren and Neil. They’re wearing concerned faces, but I think they’re faking. Everyone loves them. Cat says they’re safe, and they let out tiny sighs of relief.

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Where’d Brian Friedman go?

This season of So You Think You Can Dance is off to a great start, but as rumored, Brian Friedman is nowhere to be found.  So why isn’t he involved with the show this year?  Backstage dance fight with Dan Karaty?  Jealous of Mary Murphy’s promotion to permanent judge?  We may never know, but he did find a new gig — he’ll be a judge on the UK talent competition The X Factor, alongside Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne.  We’ll miss you and your wacky accessories, Bri. 

So You Think You Can Dance (June 20, 2007)

It’s So You Think You Can Dance time! Ashlee and Ricky peaced out last week, so tonight the top eighteen will battle it out for the coveted title of America’s Favorite Dancer. Prize: $250,000, and if Benji’s performance last week is any indication, a pair of red satin gloves and some patriotic underwear. Yes, this show features fancy dance moves and highly creative prizes.

Cat fashion update: she’s continuing her hot streak, with long wavy hair and a boho chic dress. The accessories are somewhat questionable — Egyptian-ish arm band — but she makes it work.

Exceedingly long dancer intros. Random thought: I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus ended up winning this thing. But judging from the screams, I’d say Neil gets the youth vote.

This week’s special guest judge: Mia Michaels, alongside the screamy Mary Murphy and sassy millionaire Nigel Lythgoe. Mia’s still upset that Ricky was sent home last week. Mia’s hair = still busted. Mary says this is a lesson for America: get off the couch and vote. Nigel defends America; smart move, minimizes risk of deportation.

Every time the judges talk about how “America” votes, I always imagine that they’re talking about America Ferrara. It’s endlessly amusing. I picture Ugly Betty sitting on her couch, rollers in her hair, speed-dialing votes for Benji while Hilda does her nails.

Anyway, let’s get to the dancing. Lauren and Neil are first. Dave Scott’s teaching them a hip hop routine — and I think he’s a new choreographer for this show. Dave loves Lauren and is nervous about Neil. Whatever, he’ll be great. Ladies Love Cool Neil. Ooh, and the routine’s HOT. Neil’s dressed up like a little Justin Timberlake, and they’re dancing to Timbaland, so it’s all very MTV-ready. They have nice chemistry together, but mostly it’s just a damn fine routine — a swan-diving, butt-smacking, face-kicking good time. Lauren’s a pro, and Neil keeps up with her admirably. Mia says it was a hell of a lot better than last week, and gives big love to Dave’s choreography. She singles Neil out for praise, and says Lauren was essentially disposable — not living up to her potential. I disagree; Lauren is consistently awesome. Mary loved the chemistry. Nigel says they’ve set the bar tonight, and so they have. Quick old school SAT analogy: Lauren: Neil :: Allison : Ivan.

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So You Think You Can Dance results show! (June 14, 2007)

Last night, we saw twenty bright-eyed hopefuls fight for our hearts and phone calls. Tonight, two dreams will be crushed, sacrificed to the gods of dance!  But, first let’s talk about Cat’s outfit. She’s got one of those dresses that looks like lingerie, and it looks fab. Cute outfits two nights in a row! I really think they got a new stylist, or else some very forceful notes from the network executives.

Two-thirds of the results show is dedicated to time wasting, so we’re now treated to a group dance. It’s exciting — the kids are decked out in black and white, the girls wearing black wigs and little mod dresses, busting out to Busta Rhymes. It’s weird but lots of fun, so obviously a Wade Robson joint. Apres dance, the kids scurry offstage and Cat explains that the elimination procedures: the bottom three couples will each dance a solo, and then judges will send one boy and girl home. Quelle domage.

Want to know what happens? I’ll tell you! More after the jump:

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So You Think You Can Dance (June 13, 2007)

It’s the first partners show of the season! Nigel and company have spent weeks ridding us of bad and/or ugly aspiring dancers in order to bring us this magic moment: twenty young talents performing a variety of dances in garish, often hideous costumes. Bring it on, my sequined bitches!

Cat urges us to welcome our top twenty dancers, and man, the introductions last forever. Let’s hurry up and start getting rid of some of these kids. By the way, Cat looks adorable. I wonder if the show’s stylist sobered up or something. This year’s prize: $250,000, which definitely beats that dumb work-for-Celine-Dion scam they had going on last year. Our guest judge this evening is Dan Karaty, who is wearing a ginormous tie. Then again, he’s pint-sized, so perhaps this is just a question of proportion. Also, I think Nigel dyed his hair blondish. You’re not fooling anyone, Nige.

After a way boring recap montage, the dancing begins. I’m extremely anxious to see who the couples are, since a bad partner can destroy even the strongest of dancers. Jamie and Hok are first. Jamie’s got huge curly hair, and is from Virginia Beach, so I bet she dances at Travis’s mom’s studio. She’s curvier than your average dancer, a little bottom-heavy, but don’t get me wrong, quite lovely. The two are learning a hip hop routine from Shane Sparks. Hok obviously has no problems picking it up in rehearsal, but Jamie lacks stiffness. At the performance, Shane Sparks serves us once more — the choreography is fantastic. Unfortunately, Jamie isn’t much improved. She looks pretty and is obviously a talented dancer, but hip hop is not for her. There are some unison problems, too. Dan agrees with me: great energy, but not Jamie’s thing. Mary and Nigel are kind, clearly not wanting Jamie to go home. Nigel actually claims the choreography was holding Hok back, prompting Shane to bust out laughing and scream “OH MY GOD!” Shane will be serving Nigel after the show.

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So You Think You Can Dance: The Top Twenty!

Tonight on So You Think You Can Dance: the top twenty are revealed! EXCITEMENT IS IN THE AIR … and on my television! First we’re tantalized with clips of last year’s finalists, then we head to the desert, as Cat explains that the kids in Vegas will get one last opportunity to dance solo before the judges make their decision.

We see a few clips of the solos, including Faina’s full solo. She’s fantastic and looks great, rocking a little black dress. So few ballroom dancers have both talent and fashion sense, I must say. Mia and Shane watch with poker faces, but they’re not fooling anyone. Uh oh — Faina starts collapses crying after her solo. Thoughtfully, a camera crew tries to film up her nose. Faina later says she was dehydrated, but girl better get her act together.  This competition is stressful, and proper hydration is required.  For reals.

Before the judges begin their final deliberations, Nigel calls a whole bunch of people to the stage for what Cat calls a “surprise.” Surprise, you’re getting kicked off the show! This group includes Kaelyn and crybaby Olivia, who looks remarkably composed. But wait! Instead of exiting with dignity, Olivia vents to America: she would’ve rather gone home the first day than had to hang around, work her butt off, and be around people she doesn’t like. Wow, I bet that made her mom proud. I pity Olivia’s future college roommate.

Final decision time — the judges have to cut seven boys and girls each. Things are very tense. Kevin Hunt, who argued with Lauren about their group choreography last episode, is up first. He’s out, and so are two other no-names.

Then we meet a new kid, a hot black guy named Danny. Ay carumba, he’s Travis Wall’s adopted brother! Um, so why weren’t we introduced to this kid before?! I swear, sometimes the editors of this show are such assholes. Lacey Schwimmer and Faina Savage got tons of face time, but Danny is ignored? Is it because he’s adopted? Sigh. Cat informs us that Danny’s audition was brilliant, but he didn’t do so well in Vegas. In fact, Shane said “his whole vibe was wack.” Judgment time: Nigel puts Danny in the top twenty, while telling him to lose the ego. Shane doesn’t look happy, and afterwards, calls the decision a mistake. The panel hopes being on the show will change Danny for the better. Eh, maybe not, but having drama queens around usually makes for good television. (Hey, you know who else is a drama queen? Travis! They are brothers!) Anyway, an unsuspecting Danny vows to win the show, failing to realize that he’s this year’s “bad guy.” I can just picture him watching the show with Travis in their basement as he realizes he’s about to be vilified on national television. Heh.

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So You Think You Can Dance: Vegas!

Tonight on So You Think You Can Dance: we’re going to Vegas! That’s right, only good dancers tonight! Of course, “good” is subjective — I’m not super psyched about most of the folks we’ve seen. This time last year, we’d already met faves Benji, Travis, Dmitry and Donyelle … I can’t even remember anyone from this season, except for contestant relatives and people missing limbs.  Hopefully, some talented dancers will shine tonight.  Otherwise this’ll get boring really fast.

We start out Vegas week with a Shane Sparks hip hop clinic. Hilariously, Shane prefers to beat-box when working, instead of counting off the steps. There’s a great shot of a hundred dancers rehearsing while mimicking his noises. Olivia (the crybaby) isn’t feeling confident. I’d like to like Olivia, because she’s not bad, and is quite pretty. But she’s a big whiner. Shut it, Olivia.

After Shane’s all done, Cat explains the judging system. There are four judges for this round — Nigel, Mary, and Shane are joined by Mia Michaels, crazy/brilliant lyrical choreographer. If you get two votes, you have to “dance for your life” by dancing a solo for the judges. One vote or less: booted! A minor bloodbath follows: the skimpily-clad dance teacher and her student quickly get the boot. Blondie Brianne does, too, and so does quarterback Myles!

Next up, Lindy Hoppers Michael and Eva. They are terrible. I mean, I didn’t even think they were that great at the Lindy Hop. Perhaps hoping to recapture some of the Benji magic, Nigel and Mary send them to dance for their lives. (Is there some eighties song where people are dancing for their lives? Oh right, in Flashdance! That actually took me like two hours to figure out. I’m dumb.)

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