Spill

Ryan Gosling is super dreamy

Hey, I’m just telling it like it is.  I just watched Half Nelson finally, and it was amazing how charismatic he is, even when playing a total crackhead.  And I’m not the only one who thinks so: Entertainment Weekly’s Popwatch just did a whole blog post on how fantastic Ryan Gosling’s recent appearance on Ellen was.  He was charming, funny and even taught Ellen to salsa dance.  Go watch the clip.

Helen Fielding, Jr.

Helen Fielding gave birth to her second child today, a baby girl.  Congratulations, Helen!  Now get out of the nursery and finish Bridget Jones 3, please, and hook Bridget up with Mark Darcy for good.  (Or else I will cry.)  Thank you.

Don’t date him, girl!

Presenting Don’t Date Him, Girl, a website wherein you can post stories and pictures of your jackass ex-boyfriends. Here’s a quote from Valentine “Val” Jackson’s profile:

“Disrepectful to women, uses people, and he is very,very sneeky, he will go in your purse and steal you credit card and sell them to crack heads …”

It just gets better from there.  I love the internet.

The plague is coming!

Okay, so there’s been something of a crime surge in D.C.  Now, I’m no Freakonomician or anything, but could this be attributable to … THE METH EPIDEMIC?

Maybe someone should look into it.  I’m just sayin’.

Please, don’t let this be just a rumor

Per CelebrityWeek.com, South Park‘s Trey Parker and Matt Stone are planning a musical for Broadway.

A poor excuse for a cautionary tale

So, I’ve been anxiously checking Deadspin daily for pictures of Ben Roethlisberger post-motorcycle accident.  (I think he should have filmed a public service announcement immediately after surgery, just to drive home the whole “riding without a helmet will fuck you up” message.)  Anyway, here he is.

Just to recap, here is the windshield that he flew into face first.  I don’t get it … he looks exactly the same.  By all rights, this guy should look like Quasimodo.  Either his plastic surgeons were literally guided by the hand of God, or Roethlisberger previously had adamantium welded to his skull à la Wolverine.

It’s better than Christmas!

I am so excited, I can barely type — today is FREE SLURPEE DAY at 7-11, in honor of the convenience store’s birthday (plus, it’s July 11th).  It’s like they’ve finally decided to reward my dedicated patronage over the past decade.  Excuse me while I go grab my car keys and get over there now!

Bastardizations of popular songs

I heard the most bizarre thing on the radio the other day: Steve Miller singing "Take the Money and Run" to the tune of "The Joker."  You can hear it for yourself here.  

Also, here's a crazy remix of Fall Out Boy's "Dance Dance" for download.  

It’s like YouTube, but with words

When there’s no good celebrity gossip, sometimes I’ll read books online. (Anything to keep from working.) In case you want to get dragged down to my level:

Sherlock Holmes
Jeeves & Wooster (wacky Brits)
Pride & Prejudice (it’s romantic!)
Anne of Green Gables (yep, I’m twelve!)
A Little Princess
The Secret Garden

Strangers with candy and hors d’oeuvres

The fantastic Amy Sedaris has been profiled in the New York Times, but the article focuses more on her cooking skills than her comedy.  She's coming out with an entertaining book called "I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence," which I must own.  (I have this fantasy that one day she'll invite me and her brother David to a dinner party, and we'll all become best pals.  I mean, it could happen.)

I love the eighties strikes back

Lots of eighties music videos here, including one by David Hasselhoff.  Score!

Ay carumba!

I can't believe it's taken me so long to post this: The Meth Epidemic.  Biker gangs!  Political intrigue!  Meth mouth! Basically, it's PBS Frontline by way of Jerry Bruckheimer.