So You Think You Can Dance: Atlanta

June 1, 2007 at 1:49 am | Posted in So You Think You Can Dance, TV News | Leave a comment

Tonight: even more So You Think You Can Dance! Time for the Atlanta auditions, where Nigel and Mary are joined by Shane Sparks.  C’mon kids, let’s go find America’s Favorite Dancer!

Our first contender: Caitlin. She’s fantastic, maybe the best girl we’ve seen. Straight to Vegas. But nonstop praise makes for boring television (and boring recaps), so next, we’re confronted with Christopher. He’s a goofy-looking teacher with a Justin Timberlake shrine in his bedroom. Right about now, Justin is regretting bringing sexy back. Man, I feel bad for this guy — he’s gonna have to face a classroom full of kids tomorrow morning at school. His dance reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live character Sally O’Malley, who likes to kick, stretch and kick! Mary compares it to tai chi, which is also fair. Adios, Christopher.

Up next, Tony explains that the correct terminology for “breakdancing” is “b-boying.” I’d mock him, but it’s true — in case it ever comes up in a trivia contest, the four tenets of hip hop are MCing, DJing, writing graffiti, and b-boying. Go to quiz night and win some beers with that one. I will, however, mock Tony for plucking his eyebrows. Guys, the ladies hate the unibrow, but you should resist the temptation to overpluck. Man, I am full of interesting facts tonight. Getting back to Tony’s b-boying: he’s good. Shane absolutely lights up, and the two have a mutual lovefest. Shane actually tells Nigel and Mary to shut it while he talks to Tony, and they get “offended” and leave the stage. Shane fills their shoes, letting out a Mary scream and doing a Nigel fakeout. Ha! Tony gets shipped off to choreography to prove he’s got substance to back up the steez.

Ooh, our first clogger of the season! His name’s Brandon, and he’s babyfaced and gangly. Nigel cautions that a clogger’s never made it to Vegas. Brandon shrugs, starts his dance, and dang! Brandon’s good! He mixes some jazz/hip hop stuff in with the clogging, and it’s awfully fun. The judges love it, but they think he should stick to clogging, not booty-shaking. Eh, I still think it was a wise move for Brandon to show his versatility. Sent to choreography.

More after the jump:

Day one winds down, and Tony and Brandon both rock the choreography. Another sweet moment with Tony: when he gets the news, he quietly sits down on the stage, hugs his knees, and absorbs the moment. Brandon’s just ecstatic. I really like these kids.

Day two of auditions. We’re introduced to Brian, who’s a computer science major with a serious case of scoliosis. It’s also stunted his growth. He seems like a nice, normal kid, and I’m just praying for the best. And — holy crap! He pops and locks very, very slowly, and it’s weirdly awesome. He gets a standing ovation from Nigel, who says Brian’s taken his physical limitations and used them brilliantly. Shane’s got tears in his eyes, and tells Brian that his future is very bright. They put him through to choreography.

Next up, Myles. He’s a former football star with an adorable southern drawl. He started dancing after breaking his leg, and decided to defy his dad’s disapproval and stick with it. Myles is a pleasure to watch, definitely a natural dancer. His technique is obviously lacking, but wow — he’s only been dancing for eight months! Nigel and Mary are duly impressed, but Mary shuts him down, saying he’s not ready. Shane’s more encouraging, and tells him that he’ll be ready someday. Nigel wants to encourage Myles, and lets him go to choreography “just for the experience.”
Ashley Simpson auditions next, and like the more famous Simpson, she’s bleached blonde and fake-tanned. She’s also talented, and Mary insists Ashley go to Vegas. The boys need a little convincing, but after Ashley spills some tears, Nigel hands over the ticket.

Next, an extremely large girl named Kippery tells the camera that she’s gonna show us some “skreet” hip hop. She means “street.” This doesn’t bode well, and Kippery’s predictably awful. It’s not size-related; this girl could be Nicole Richie’s size and would still suck. Mary comments, “she’s sucking the life force out of me.” Nigel insists on knowing who told Kippery she could dance, and finds out she paid $1400 for a bogus dance workshop. Then Shane busts out with some of the meanest comments I’ve ever heard him make, telling her to never go to an audition like this again, unless they’re looking for her “type.” With fear in her eyes, Kippery asks what her type is, and Shane replies, “kinda overweight, and really can’t dance.” Even Nigel’s scandalized, but can’t resist kicking her while she’s down, urging her to “stay healthy.” She uses her post-show interview to discuss her acting and modeling experience. This is sad. Let’s move on, shall we?

What kind of dance is your fave? If you said “line dancing,” you’re in for a treat! Matthew’s got a cowboy hat, a rhinestoned shirt, and is ready to tear it up. Boy, is he ever enthusiastic! Nigel’s face goes from frozen with horror to kind of digging it. The judges are amused but not fooled.

Next up, Jessica. She’s wearing furry underwear, ripped fishnets, a bowtie, and cat ears. Hilariously, she’s a total dead facial expression while doing these weird stripper moves and feline growls. Mercifully, they kick her offstage quickly.

Another cowboy. This one’s named Chris. He’s a farmer boy-turned-Marine from Georgia, who couldn’t ship out because of a dislocated shoulder. Chris busts out some clubby moves to “Walk It Out.” I bet this guy is a lot of fun at parties. The judges love him, but they don’t love his dancing so much. Chris the Marine ships off back to the ranch.

Choreography time! Scoliosis Brian can’t keep up with the choreography, but don’t cry for him just yet. Shane straight up offers him a role in his next movie. Brian’s not off to Vegas though … but Myles is! Shane teached Nigel a thing or two about psych-outs. The judges act all negative, and when Myles asks for a critique, Shane replies, “when you in Vegas, just make sure you do a little bit better.” Ha! I love Shane.

Next week, we’re going to Vegas! I can’t wait!

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