So You Think You Can Dance’s hip hop choreographer extraordinaire Shane Sparks talks with Television Without Pity about dance, Danny, and Dominic.

BIG So You Think You Can Dance gossip in Kristin Veitch’s latest spoiler chat.  It’s chock-full of spoilers for other shows, so I’ll just spill the news: Lacey and Hok are dating.

Wow, I definitely didn’t see that coming!

Suffering from So You Think You Can Dance withdrawal?  Same here.  But hey, remember how Sabra and Allison were in High School Musical?  I spotted Jaymz from season two in High School Musical 2 — he was playing a lifeguard, and even had a couple lines.  Yay!  I always liked him.

If you’re extra bored, here’s a video of Britney Spears and ‘N SYNC performing at the MTV Video Music Awards to keep you entertained.  If you look hard, you can spot Wade Robson to Brit’s left at the 1:13 mark.  I bet Dan Karaty’s in there somewhere, too.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the actual finale of So You Think You Can Dance! Get ready for dancing, awkward banter, and lots of filler — the best of reality television!

First off, Cat appears looking absolutely stunning in a mauve dress, except for some seriously misplaced tulle around the midsection. It looks like a ferret is hugging her waist. I don’t get this silhouette at all, fashion designers of the world. And next year, I seriously hope the wardrobe people stop dressing Cat like she’s preggers.

But enough of this, on with the show! The top twenty are back, dressed all in white. See kids, they didn’t get eliminated, instead they just went to Dancing Heaven. They’re introduced in elimination order, i.e. from least to most liked. Ashley, Ricky, Faina and Jimmy do lame twirls, kicks and hip shimmies, puttng little to no effort in. Jessi feels up Jesus. Wow, I did not miss her at all. Shauna and Cedric do some coordinated stuff, and it’s very cute. Not as cute as Anya and Hok, who do some ballroom moves, then Hok drops to the ground and breakdances. Jaimie and Kameron also do some partnering, and Jaimie does her fancy splits. Sara and Dominic b-girl and b-boy, respectively. Pasha drums on Lauren’s butt and they goof around adorably. Then our top four strut their stuff. They look foxy as usual.

Cat assures us that there’s no padding in tonight’s show. In other words, Cat is a big fat liar. All the judges are here — Mia, Shane, Wade (the camera guy screws up Wade’s close-up, ha), Dan, Mary and Nigel. Where’s Shankman? Stuck down in the audience, since let’s face it, he’s only here to remind us that Hairspray is still in theaters. Cat asks the judges to sum up the season in a sentence each — boring. Shane says that the caliber of dancers is so improved that all the good dancers who didn’t come to auditions last year will show up for next season. Ouch! If you were in last year’s bottom ten, you’ve gotta be hating yourself right about now. Anyway, the dancers are good, diverse and they’re also really nice people. Nigel then uses his time to point out Paula Abdul in the audience, who, as a singer, is an awesome dancer. She acts crazy as usual. introduce Clare from last season in the audience, with her baby. The baby that ruined her dreams of becoming a danceketeer. I’m just saying.

Now, let’s get down to business … or let’s delay and watch a clip show! It’s all the audition footage recycled. And how about some recycled dance numbers? The top twenty come onstage and perform Tyce Diorio’s Lion King routine. It’s still incredible, and I’m struck by how featured Danny, Neil and Sabra are. Tyce and I have the same faves.

Next, each of the judges talk about some memorable moments of the season and get a command performance of their “favorite” dance. Mary was blown away by Cedric’s audition, and wants to see Shane Sparks’s “transformers” routine with Lauren and Pasha. I guess they keep calling it that because the dancers start out as one unit and then break apart … but why are they in skeleton sweatshirts? It’s still a mystery. It’s also still hot; I think they perform it even better the second time. And now for a nice moment: Cat asks the audience to stand up and cheer for Lauren and Pasha, since they missed out on their ovation during the last results show “lockdown situation.

Another clip show … zzz … this one featuring weirdo dance styles performed at the auditions. Does this have a point? Surprisingly, it does — Nigel introduces Brandon Norris, the Wonder Clogger from the auditions. This kid is hilarious, I love him. He tones down the hip hop moves, and mostly just clogs, which is a little sad — unlike Nigel, I thought those were key to the clogging awesomeness.

A little break from the dancing follows so Nigel can shill his next reality show, American Band. Nigel wants to see Wade Robson’s hummingbird/flower routine. It’s quite good — again — and is actually a tribute to Jaimie and Hok’s consistency. It looks exactly the same as the first time we saw it.

Jean-Marc Genereaux liked Sabra and Kameron’s Amazing Grace routine by Tyce Diorio, but not as much as Sabra and Dominic’s hip hop routine to Ne-Yo by Shane. Looks great, but Sabra looks a lot more serious instead of smiley this time. It’s got a slightly different feel, like they’re a struggling couple instead of one falling in love. Dominic is quite adorable afterwards, saying he’s jealous and proud of Sabra, and even baby-talking a little.

Even Adam Shankman gets to pick a fave — he loved doing his Hairspray number, obviously, but wants to see the Knock on Wood disco routine with Sara and Neil. So do I! Good pick, Adam. It’s a little rougher than the first time, but Neil amazingly lands his incredible back layout-split perfectly again. (I think he picks a wedgie afterward, rewind and check it out if you can.) Dang, I loved this routine so much. I wish Doriana Sanchez’s work was always this good. I also wish Sara’s hair didn’t look ridiculous. She claims to like it, but she’s gotta be lying. Neil says he’s nervous but will be happy either way. As well he should be; the kid’s going to get a theatrical agent out of this.

Another montage, this time of b-boys and poppers. So over the montages. Cat points out that the montage was missing one auditioner — and it’s Brian Gaynor, the tiny slow pop-and-locker! If you recall, he has scoliosis, and is so great that Shane offered him a part in a dance movie, “You Got Served Part Deux” or some such. He dances to Ain’t No Other Man again, and it’s totally amazing. And it’s not just about his size — he’s really an incredible popper, and his routine’s fun and witty. Most of the judges are on their feet cheering — Shane’s hunched over screaming “WHAT?” over and over. Brian thanks everyone, and Shane assures us that the movie’s still on. Aw, feel-good moment!

Time for another group dance — the top eight do the Matrix-y dreamlike routine by Shane Sparks. If you recall, Neil winds Lacey up to music box tinkling, then Lauren comes out dressed like Trinity, and they all break it down. Afterwards, Cat plugs the tour again, and Nigel announces that the tour “alternates” are Jesus, Anya, Shauna and Hok. Hurray!

Wade loved seeing Hok’s audition, but want to see Lacey and Danny’s samba by Dmitry. It’s even better the second time — Lacey’s is definitely more focused on her partner, and it’s a lot hotter. But really, seeing this routine again was just an excuse to get Lacey and Danny back onstage together so that we can kick one out of the competition. Uh oh! I really think that Danny’s momentum is picking up, but Lacey’s got a big fan base. Tension! Lacey actually points to herself and says “it’s me” before the result is announced, and she’s right — Lacey’s done. Danny’s surprised, and I am too, a little. But happy. Peace out, Lacey! Danny now has to wait until later to find out if he’s the big winner. Poor Lacey’s dad is crying with his electric sign. Lacey’s very gracious and sweet, and Mary gives her a gushing send-off.

After the break, Cat introduces us to Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls (and Eden’s Crush!). Nicole is stuck in a box, but pretty soon some backup dancers let her out to boogie. I really like Nicole — she’s pretty and a she’s got a cool voice. This song totally sucks, unfortunately. Maybe it sounds better in the clubs? Hope so.

Shane’s fave moment: the crazy popper Phillip. His favorite routine is Pasha and Sara’s West Coast swing by Benji. He says he can’t get the cartwheel move out of his head, which surprises me because we saw Benji and Heidi do it like eighty times last year. But Pasha and Sara really rock it again. Benji’s a great choreographer, who is once again sporting stupid hair. Sara calls him “rough, tough and dangerous.” Benji offers them money to talk about how fantastic he is. Heh.

Tyce loved Danny and Anya’s jive, and wants to see the foxtrot they did again, by Jean-Marc. Aw, I loved this one — this was the week Danny actually looked happy to be onstage. Once again, they look super glamorous. Danny’s apprehensive about the results, and Cat doesn’t let Anya speak.

Tony Meredith loved Mia Michaels’s group number to Imogen Heap. He’d rather see Jesus and Sara dance like vagabonds, though. They gamely do the Wade Robson wacky thing again, and it’s quite cute, but it just reminds me how sad I was that Jesus left early. These two are so good. Jesus says “we hope we made you proud, Wade!” and the camera cuts to Wade not paying any attention to him at all. I guess the answer is no.

Mia liked Sabra and Neil’s paso doble, particularly the donut drop. She commands performance of Sabra and Neil’s negotiation dance by Mandy Moore. YES, I love this one. The Annie Lennox numbers are always the best — remember Ivan and Allison’s last year? Neil and Sabra should be scared though, because now they’re on stage alone. Cat calls Danny up on stage, and she’s gonna kick off one of these dancers — and she kicks off Neil! Aw, I really liked him, but I’m happy with this final two. Neil’s sad but freezes a smile on his face and answers Cat’s questions like a pageant pro. He also says hi to a “Katie” in the audience, so I think he’s straight after all. Cat makes him do the Chewbacca thing into the mic before hustling him offstage.

Cat claims that after the break, she’s dancing with Nigel, and I have to say, I was totally fished in. They don’t dance, dammit. Instead, they show an animated thing of their heads dancing around to La Cucaracha. Lame! Maybe Nigel has a bad hip.

Next, we get another guest performer. Who could it be? Aw crap, it’s Ryan Cabrera. I thought we’d have a bigger star. I actually don’t mind him but he’s practically tone deaf, always going flat in live shows. And what the hell happened to him? He used to be hot, but now he looks like a nasty combo of Jack White and Blossom. And as predicted, can’t stay on pitch. Get off the stage, Ryan, and go cut your hair.

Last, Dan shares his fave moments. He loved it when the hip hop dancer Jamal did swing during the auditions, and wants to see Mia’s daddy routine again. Again, I’m not that touched by it. I think it’s due to bad camera work — this is a routine designed to be seen from one viewpoint, and instead we get tons of closeups. Poorly done. Neil and Lacey still do a great job, though.

Okay, now it’s time for the drama! Sabra or Danny, which will it be? Also, I’d like to point out that they’ve never actually said that the runner-up here got more votes than either Neil or Lacey. It’s probably true, but they really just announce a winner and three losers. In case you want to debate any conspiracy theories. But anyway, the kids are super nervous, and keep twitching around. Sabra and Danny tell each other how awesome they are. And after sixteen million votes … SABRA WINS! She immediately starts crying, and Danny gives her a big hug. Everyone else runs onstage for a group hug under the confetti. Hurray!

Aw, what a great show. Also, this is the second year in a row that my fave has won! No wonder I like it so much. If only the Disney Channel could start up a dancing-themed show with all the contestant castoffs, all my dreams will have come true. And now that you know who’s won, read TV Guide’s backstage report on the finale.

Goodbye for now, but be sure to check back in with me in September for discussion on fall’s new shows, and see you next summer for more So You Think You Can Dance!

The So You Think You Can Dance finale is just hours away! While you wait, here’s TV Guide’s interviews with runners-up Pasha and Lauren.  Lauren’s interview clears up one mystery — Sabra and Dominic are not dating.  He’s got a girlfriend.  There’s also a show preview from the L.A. Times (who knew Neil needed a brain?)