So You Think You Can Dance results show! (June 14, 2007)

June 15, 2007 at 12:41 am | Posted in So You Think You Can Dance, TV News | 3 Comments

Last night, we saw twenty bright-eyed hopefuls fight for our hearts and phone calls. Tonight, two dreams will be crushed, sacrificed to the gods of dance!  But, first let’s talk about Cat’s outfit. She’s got one of those dresses that looks like lingerie, and it looks fab. Cute outfits two nights in a row! I really think they got a new stylist, or else some very forceful notes from the network executives.

Two-thirds of the results show is dedicated to time wasting, so we’re now treated to a group dance. It’s exciting — the kids are decked out in black and white, the girls wearing black wigs and little mod dresses, busting out to Busta Rhymes. It’s weird but lots of fun, so obviously a Wade Robson joint. Apres dance, the kids scurry offstage and Cat explains that the elimination procedures: the bottom three couples will each dance a solo, and then judges will send one boy and girl home. Quelle domage.

Want to know what happens? I’ll tell you! More after the jump:

First to hear the news: Jamie and Hok. I won’t toy with your emotions — they’re safe!

Anya and Danny are the next to get their news. Both are very pretty and showing lots of cleavage. They’re fabulous, and they’re sticking around.

Sabra and Dominic are next, and I’m worried for them. No one votes for disco. Aw, and they’re in the bottom three. Told you so! I’m sorry to be right; I really enjoyed watching those two.

It’s Lacey and Kameron’s turn. Their routine was super emo, and emo gets the votes. They’re safe! Yay, Schwimmer legacy!

Ashlee and Ricky look awfully worried. As well they should be: they’re in the bottom three. Nigel takes a moment to praise them, saying that we the viewers haven’t seen Ricky and Ashlee shine yet. Well, I can explain that — it’s because the show producers chose to show us chunky girls dancing “skreet” instead of Ricky and Ashlee’s audition footage. Executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Sara and Jesus are next. I think Jesus is just adorable, by the way. Cat says their routine was “twisted, demented, spectacular … and popular.” They’re safe.

Pasha and Jessi get their news next. Pasha’s wearing some weird satin jacket. He looks like a Miami Vice extra. Silly man. They’re safe, too.

I don’t feel the need to drag out the suspense here; the extremely attractive Neil and Lauren are safe.

Let’s get to a more interesting situation: Faina and Cedric. Will Faina be the second Savage to get the boot? Or will it be Jimmy and Shauna? The Wiz kids are safe, and Faina and Cedric are dancing for their lives. Mary looks dismayed, and tells us that America got it wrong. Well, fix it for us in deliberations, Mary.

Here’s a surprise! Cat hauls America’s Favorite Dancer, Benji Schwimmer, up onstage for a chat. Now, this site is enduring proof of my major Benji love, but I feel duty-bound to tell you that he has shaved little notches into his sideburns. To make matters worse, he is wearing red satin gloves that do not match his outfit. Fashion crimes are Benji’s anti-drug. Cat mentions his appearance in a Christina Aguilera video. Benji’s the new hotness, in case you weren’t aware. To prove it, Benji shows us a little of the ol’ Schwimmer magic, shimmying all over the floor. Quite inappropriately, Benji finishes by dropping his pants, revealing a lot more Schwimmer than I really needed to see. He’s wearing stars and stripes undies. Well, I never!

Enough dilly-dallying. It’s time for the solos. Sabra’s first. She’s wearing a modified genie girl outfit and does a quite lovely lyrical routine.

Dominic is taking no chances, and busts out the Eart, Wind & Fire. Damn, he’s by far my favorite b-boy. He finishes by doing this windmill thingie and removing his shirt while spinning on his head. D-Trix don’t want to go home! Hilariously, he covers up his nipples while talking to Cat.

Ashlee’s next, and she’s dancing to … Barbra Streisand? Oh my gosh, what an idiot. It’s not even that exciting a routine. Just, wow. I can’t see Nigel at this moment, but Ashlee just sealed her fate right here. She’s a lovely person, but STREISAND? Get the hook.

Ricky’s dancing to Virtual Insanity, which is a far better decision. Jamiroquai’s a uniter, not a divider. When this boy shuts his mouth and starts to dance, he really commands the stage. He belongs in a first-rate company, not struggling through ballroom on a L.A. soundstage. Good job, Rickster.

After the commercial break, Faina struts onstage to Christina Aguilera. Her costume would best be described as sparse. Shake it, Faina! She’s as talented as Heidi, but without the awkward facial expressions. Faina could be a Bond girl. I really hope she sticks around.

Finally, Cedric’s turn. He’s dancing to some Wade Robson beats, boringly entitled Dream Within a Dream. What’s up Wade, no “Vagabond Cabaret Wackadoo Blues”? And now I finally see what all the Cedric hype’s about. He really has a completely unique style, totally watchable. It’s weird, fluid angles, awkward arms and legs, and yet it’s all incredibly organic. He confesses to Cat that he was fighting back tears the whole time. Aw, don’t send him home!

Nigel, Mary and Dan depart to deliberate, and Lloyd comes on stage to perform Get It Shawty. Lloyd’s kind of a weirdo, but I respect him for performing live (unlike Rihanna last season, that dirty lip-syncher). Memo to Lloyd: cut your hair. Something about him looks like a skinny Alfonso Ribiero. Do the Carlton! Okay, I’m bored of this. Let’s get these judges back onstage.

The judges start with Sabra. The judges think Sabra brought her best performance of the competition, and she’s sticking around. Next up: Faina. I think this is a good sign, but I’m nervous! Eek. Nigel keeps it short and sweet: Faina’s a superb ballroom dancer, and we’ll see her next week. This means Ashlee’s out, and she accepts the news admirably. Nigel passes the buck and blames America. Well, it’s kind of your fault, Nigel, let’s be honest. Ashlee thanks America and God, and watches her goodbye montage. The song they’re using for the girls this year is kind of whiny, I think it’s Ryan Cabrera. Figures.

It’s time for the guys, and Ricky steps forward first. Nigel tells Ricky that the judges felt he was holding back. Hmm, I thought Ricky was great, but shows how much I know. Cedric steps forward next. Nigel tells him Cedric that his solo always saves him with the judges, but the concern is he’ll let his partner down. However, Cedric didn’t let his partner down last night. Close-up on Cedric, all handsome and shining-eyed. Aww. Nigel tells Cedric he’s safe! Cedric doesn’t even say thanks, and dashes offstage to sniffle.

Nigel tells Dominic that they think he’s one-note in his solos. Nigel continues that Dominic’s got a wonderful personality, just like Benji, and … he’s staying! Weird, wonderful Ricky is peaceing out, and D-Trix lives to windmill another day. Fair enough: Ricky doesn’t need this competition, he can easily get a job in a company. Ricky and Dominic share a big hug, and it’s montage time. Ouch, Nigel turns this into a lesson for everyone left, saying that Ricky’s going home because he didn’t try hard enough. Poor Ricky! But when all’s said and done, I like the bunch that’s left. Well done, judges! See y’all next week!

3 Comments »

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  1. Genius, I laughed so hard at your Benji comments! So glad our summer obsession is back!

  2. Oh, Babs. You ruin EVERYTHING.

    And your Benji comments SLAYED me. You win at life.

  3. […] has a hysterical take on Benji Schwimmer’s appearance last night: Here’s a surprise! Cat hauls America’s Favorite Dancer, Benji Schwimmer, up onstage […]


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